I just read a post a post on www.lifewithababy.com. This lady was saying that when the baby is born that the men should take a leave and not come back for six months. It sounds silly, but I almost wish that was possible. I would love it if my mom could come and visit for the a month and my husband wasn’t around at all. That way, I would get time to get things done, maybe get some rest and not feel like I’m expected to be supermom all the time. I think the portrayal of motherhood on TV and in hollywood really gives people an idea that motherhood and family life is just one big bonding moment all the time. I look at the magazines and all you see is moms who lost the baby weight in three months and everyone is back to thier fabulous selves… No one is pointing out that these people have a NANNY that watches the baby while they are at the gym, or getting procedures done and they get to sleep at night b/c the nanny is watching the baby or lets not forget the fact that none of them have to worry about money b/c they have it – so they CAN get the nanny and the personal trainers and the meals prepared for them etc, etc…
The worst part of it all, is sometimes I see my husband looking at the magazine and then at me – and he’ll say things like “oh, it’s fine, you look fine, you just had a baby, I know when you stop breastfeeding you’ll go on a diet”… and I’m just like great! now there are more expectations of me – Sure I try to diet, but when you are constantly arguing, it’s hard to maintain a diet – I now eat to comfort myself, I know I do – but I can’t help it.
So what is the solution to the men problems? Honestly, I’m trying now to just ignore him. He’s an idiot right now… hopefully it will go away, either I will find ways of dealing with it or help snap out of it and go back to being the man I fell in love with, but either way – it will have to get fixed eventually so for now, I’m ignoring him… otherwise it’s just a waste of my energy.
I ask myself, “what do I value in life” Right now, most of all, I value my daughter – she is wonderful, she makes me happy and I feel like I have a purpose in her, I do value my marriage, but not at the cost of my self-esteem and my health (because lets face it, the stress is not good for me) so for now I started going out with my friends again, so I don’t feel so alone and isolated. I’m really just trying to take it one day at a time.
If anyone has any coping strategies that works, I would love to hear them.
Tags: Baby, coping strategies, hollywood moms, life with a baby, losing baby weight, marriage, nanny, supermom, values
